Ask any new bride what it's like to be married and they will either tell you how wonderful it is, or tell you that it's pretty much the same and they haven't noticed a change. Ask any new husband what it's like to be married and they will immediately turn pale, shake their head slowly from side to side, and tell you that it was the worst mistake of their life. It's universal - when I proposed to my then girlfriend I was proud to tell my friends that I was getting married. The single guys were baffled and the married guys always had the same reaction - "married? why would you want to be married?". Whether married a year, a few years, or 40+ years, every male that had pledged himself to the love of his life for all eternity had the same view, that marriage ruined their lives.
But why, why do they feel this way? I'll tell you why - because it's cool to be a dick, especially to your wife. That, coupled with the fact that it's not cool to love your significant other, has made for a lot of dudes covering up the fact that they're happy to be wed acting like they were tricked into dropping a few G's on a wedding ring, finding the right time and place to propose, and planning a way-too-expensive party for a bunch of people that they barely know. The fact is, marriage rocks, and it's about time the dude's out there starting owning up to this fact.
So guys, the next time you bump into a friend, co-worker, or acquaintance that tells you that they've recently tied the knot, congratulate them, and not with that awkward sarcastic tone either - you knew what you were doing and you know that you're better off because you did.
And just to prove that marriage doesn't suck, I've come up with a short list of seven of the awesomest aspects of marriage:
1. Not having to play the dating game anymore. If you're anything like me, your ability to pick up chicks is equalled only to your ability to crochet, and we both know you can't crochet.
2. Living in a home that doesn't look like a cross between your grandmother's basement and your bedroom from when you were high school.
3. Regular meals, and not frozen instant meals, but the kind that involve using the stove and at least 4 different ingredients.
4. Not having to worry about getting dumped when you get piss drunk at a party and embarrass your significant other - she can't dump you now, you're locked into a contract!
5. Dual incomes mean that you can finally afford to stop renting and buy a house/condo/trailer/cardboard box under the freeway/mud hut.
6. The constant effort she puts into criticizing your clothing finally pays off and you develop some form of fashion sense.
7. It's no longer lame to take photos like this:
Okay, next post, no lists, I promise...
uhmm your head is angled wrong in the photo. And I do not think your qualified to write this article until you have at least a year under your belt!
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